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By Jay Tropianskaia on October 11, 2017 in bloGIT

I was recently confronted by a Gestalt colleague with this statement: Aren’t there many definitions of respect? The question stunned me. I realized I have a body sense of what is feels like to be respected and a body understanding of what another person means when they let me know they do not feel respected by me. These are times that I listen attentively to their truth of the experience and make what amends are possible.

Interconnection: The Missing Sixth Sense
By Jay Tropianskaia on July 11, 2017 in Gestalt Perspectives

If you have ever asked a friend: what do you think of me? Then you know the tension that can hang in the air while you wait for a reply. We long for some appreciation or awareness of how good a friend we are, how “just” a human being, how interesting is our character, and at the same time we quiver with apprehension that our deepest fears and doubts about ourselves are about to be exposed. Well this blog is not about that — in the blunt words of one of my friends: “Enough about you!”

Hard as it is to ask the question above, I am asking you to imagine asking instead: How am I doing with you? This question opens the door to our interactions — to the other person.

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Will I or Won’t I?
By Jay Tropianskaia on May 2, 2017 in Gestalt Perspectives

My teacher Jorge Rosner had a simple approach for transforming the I should’s (but I don’t wanna) of life. He told us: When you are facing an inner struggle between Act and Afraid to Act, Just ask yourself: Will I or won’t I? And then: What’s the worst that can happen if I do or I don’t? He recommended we imagine the worst possible outcome, and only then decide I will or I won’t.

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Shame and Forgiveness
By Jay Tropianskaia on April 5, 2017 in Gestalt Perspectives

I recently took part in a discussion about forgiveness. In the room were both spiritual people and psychotherapists. Someone raised the question as to whether or not forgiveness exists. We were from many different countries and looked up the definition in several languages coming up with words like to pardon, to give mercy. Each definition seemed to hold inside of it a dynamic where someone bestows forgiveness on another. We spoke about how important the concept of forgiveness has been for social regulation, to prevent revenge which is so much a part of human history. Was the concept of forgiveness built into our humanity to keep us from releasing our suppressed anger and desire for revenge?

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By Jay Tropianskaia on February 27, 2017 in Gestalt Perspectives

Most of us have faced trauma and shock through human mis-uses of power we call having power over… Because of association with abuse, we spend our entire lives avoiding the feelings of power. As a result of this dis-owned power, when bullies and tyrants present themselves in the world or in our lives, we are once again shocked and diminish our own power. This diminishment of our power is a creative adjustment to communicate to the other to back off, go gentle, but its impact is not that. It takes the willingness to shine to communicate a request for respect.

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