Gestaltists say that happiness is not the goal, it arrives with the sense of open-ness which is a by-product of our relational approach. Finding the joy of life, knowing we are able to be what we want to be, including our wounds in our sense of self, trusting not only ourselves but others, trusting there will always be a next step for us, a ground under our feet – these are the fruits of “the work.” But we know we live in a society in which the work is never done, the fruit is never harvested, in which the moments of victory never seem to last long before we are onto the next thing. Because of this moments of expansion, of joy, pass us by, and we spend thousands of dollars on addictions and holidays to try to make happiness a goal.

Rumi, a famous Sufi poet asked: “Do you make regular visits to yourself?” In answering his question, I have realized that riding my bike that sunny summer afternoon I was being a poor visitor to myself, a jittery guest who was uneasy, impatient and hungry for more excitement, who was going in and out of being present. I have realized that riding my bicycle that day, I was actually riding on my thoughts with the bicycle, disconnected from my body.

The root of the word resolution is to loosen, to become free of (as to resolve). Here are eight Gestalt-inspired resolutions you can choose from to begin 2017 with more freedom.

For some of us, the month of December means family gatherings which are an opportunity to meet in a new way any of those people who have pushed our buttons in previous gatherings. For those of us for whom such events come at another time of year, this teaching may be pulled out again on those special occasions. Of course it is not necessary to wait for special occasions – opportunities to confront button pushers come every day.

There are 8 faces in my Many Faces of Anger. Of these there is only two that I call genuine anger. One of these is Righteous Anger.
 
Righteous Anger teaches you to find the power of your own truth. It is anger that is grounded in our personal truth. Many people are not aware that they carry personal truths within them. In my classes many participants didn’t know their own truths until these truths were crossed, and became angry at themselves because they didn’t stand up for them.
 
Personal truths are part of who we are and who we have always been. They arise naturally in us in childhood when our truth is denied by those around us. You can say a child’s first experience of real rage is in defense of their own truth. Later we may think about our personal truth as bottom lines.