A teacher of mine had an expression about freedom — he would say some people have freedom without license meaning their belief is I must do what my heart tells me to do regardless of the impact on others. This was once part of the Gestalt prayer which said I am not in this life to live up to your expectations (nor you to mine).

Four decades from the rebellious 60’s out of which this prayer was born, we have learned from neuroscience, the close companion of Gestalt, that it is impossible to do, think, feel anything without impact on others and that what I do, think and feel is born of the impact of others on me. We share this world, this field, in the same way that fish share the waters, or pairs of children share the teeter totter, or dancers share the music and the beat.

This knowledge has not yet sunk into our everyday awareness. We are still so bound to our own rebelliousness, our fear of loss of security, our defenses, all created to protect our original desire for actualization that every child possesses… our desire to belong to the world because of who we are and what we bring. This vital will towards life becomes in time the will to rebel, based in a belief that we are “an army of one.” This belief leads to slavery, to addiction, to anger, to self-harm, as a way to deal with the pain of loss of our freedom.

So what is freedom? From a Gestalt perspective it is the flexibility to include another’s perspective as part of our truth. From a spiritual perspective it is to regard one’s neighbour which includes the planet and all of her forms, as equal to oneself. The world which is filled with infinite potential has become for most of us very small and limited so that what we know of freedom is the ability to complain, to blame and to distract ourselves from the pain of knowing we could be so much more.

How do we stand on our own autonomy and yet not abuse our freedom? It takes courage to know that we are bound to the web of life, and freedom means using our will and desire to strengthen that web in our own unique way, for ourselves and for others. Most of us have burst out of family systems which seemed to demand we give up who we are in order to belong, but that is based in the illusion of security. The only real security is trusting that no matter what happens we will find the best way; no government, institution or social structure can provide that for us.

My teacher used the expression freedom with license to describe the price we pay for life itself just for being born. It is not the price of freedom, it is the price of what they call in some cultures “reciprocity.” To the First Nations this is a debt to the “seven generations.” The good news is we each know at a body level when we are in balance, the bad news is we have not been taught to trust that knowing.

Reconstructing our ability to be free starts in our hearts and only then can we use our brilliant minds to find the best possible way to make our dreams come true with the help of others. I think that is what these holy day seasons are about.

-Jay Tropianskaia, Director of Training
Copyright December 2018